expectations

are a bitch.

your own expectations and others.

like im expected to be skinny,and pretty because im a girl

like fuck i want to maybe or maybe i really dont i dont know! i feel like ive been told to be so many things i dont even know what to be, so ill just be this lump and say funny shit, like stuff and put on makeup or clothes, and talk on the phone. i mean what else is there, we took away hunting,sewing clothes, and other old time things for facebook and phones and other shit.

like i wish one of the givens of existence wasnt to be alone. to come in alone and to die alone. like wtf kind of deal is that? 

or that death is certain, we have so much freedom we dont know what to do with it, or that life is meaningless. my existentialism and psychology classes are making me think these theories are true for all i know they might not be things change and i know that might be wiered to think that death might not be certain, or that life might not be meaningless but what if we one day realize these theories arent real or atleast arent entirely true? 

we are always trying to make so much sense and order of things we are eventually just going to one day figure out that something we believed for so long inst true and its going to be big and we are going to be scared but maybe we knew all along.