ATTEMPT ONE

Today while i was driving into school. i got really panicky. it felt like the top of my head was going to fall off haha. or all my hair was going to fall out and then i looked at a bus stop sign and it didnt really look real. so depersonlization happens to me a lot. i have a ton of out of body expereineces most of them arent that fun but i like them sometimes becuase it reminds me that most of this inst real.

i was really happy yesterday. lizzy called me and she was the first person i talked to when i woke up. it was beauitful outside, and my teacher told us really great stories of when he visited a prison. and i just had a ton of confidence like i could do anything.i couldnt wait for thanksgiving and christmas becuase i wanted to see all of my family and i wanted to talk to everyone. i wanted to see my mom and my dad when they got home from work and i wanted to talk to them about anything because they dont know how much i love them.

yet today for some reason is not like that.

i just have to realize that some people get things and others do not. i dont know why i am not aloud, so wtf.

i might be a lame now but i guess it will change i dont know when but it will.

i just dont know what to do now to what to focus my time on.

just have to remeber when i have a negative thought also have a positive thought.

DISCLAIMER: this blog i swear makes me sound like i am serevly depressed but that is because i write it in the morning while i am at school. so really it only reflects the time of the day for me.