how much do you want to live in a world that does shit like this?
maybe i really dont like anything anymore
juliet could be right
depression low self esteem its all so familar
reminds me of eighth grade-minus the mean people, never going to school, and being at my grandma's for ten hours everyday
i never got the chance to fully accept myself, i was trying to change who i was to make people like me now i have no idea who i am. if you dont know yourself then your lost and you cant like or love anything. and i dont want to do anything about it.
i dont want drugs because it gets old, you can only be high and calm for so long and then it wears off its too easy of a fix
and there is only so much i want to tell my therapist when i tell them to much then they keep refering me to get drugs or to talk to someone else who might be better.
it will go away hopefully next year if years really do repeat themselves then next year will be a year i really like if its chronlogical.
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"Bird owner Mr Jiang, of Nanjing, bought the mynah and taught it to speak in order to attract business.
ReplyDeleteAll went well – until he bought two parrots and put them in a cage next to the mynah, reports the Yangtse Evening Post.
Jiang said the two parrots were very talkative, and their chattering made the mynah upset and angry.
“It began jumping frenetically in its cage after the two parrots arrived. Then the mynah noticed that when a neighbouring cat came and miaowed, the parrots suddenly got very quiet,” he explained.
“Afterwards I was amazed to hear the mynah bird had learnt to imitate cats miaowing, and did it many times a day. It seems he has forgotten all the Chinese I taught him!
“Whenever the parrots get too noisy, the mynah calls their bluff by mimicking the cat, and the parrots hush up right away.”"
Lisa, this is where my patience runs out. Get your fucking shit together, jesus christ. Try something, anything, it has to be better than where your at now. I don't understand what your doing at all. You complain about feeling trapped and feeling like nobody likes you and yet your too afraid to try anything new, leave your house, interact with anybody. Its like your just living the same day over and over. Your numb and depressed and go to school and sleep. Break your routine, do something crazy, you have to put yourself out there if you want change, you have to try. I don't think you have anything to loose. Strike up a conversation with a stranger, why not? Try recreationally doing drugs once in a while, its fun, it changes how you perceive things, however temporary. Try for your license, submit your art into magazines, fuck with people, dance, do whatever. Stop being afraid. I hope you realize that the only person trapping and making you feel this way is yourself and your irrational fears and your pretend apathy. It infuriates me that you refuse to see a shrink or change anything and continue to be a zombie. I would really like my best friend back.
ReplyDeleteYou really do need to do something now.
ReplyDelete