MAYBE NOT

my friends and i met really awesome people last night

they have a circus where they put nails up their noses or smash cinder blocks on their chests
and everyone thought they were foriegn at first but their accents were fake and they were actors.

they are homeless and live down by the river.
they were so interesting they do what they do because of their religon and faith in God.

i was amazed by them because they fooled everyone but they still had a message.

i would like to join them
i want to find faith like that, or a group like that.
to feel love or something anything that they had.
it felt so simple

maybe im really depressed because i looked around at the people i was with and i was the only one alone.
i cant stand it, its eating me up and it makes me want to kill myself.
and i have to stop looking at other peoples lives but you just cant ignore everything.
i dont know what to do. or if what im hoping will work out will.